In honor of my new mask icon, here is one of my favorite poems, by Paul Dunbar, entitled, appropriately enough, "We Wear the Mask"--

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

I know he was writing about prejudice, but I feel the emotions expressed within the poem are ones
universally felt by everyone at one point. I have thought of the first lines more times than I can count. For instance, I feel sometimes like being a girl in the world means that we may smile, and smile and be a villain Xb but heaven forbid we not have this happy expression always. I can't count the number of times I've had a NEUTRAL expression and people have felt the need to berate me, or tell me that "it's not so bad." I have in some respects much more masculine qualities than feminine ones, but early on I learned to hide them in order to be accepted.
I do wear the mask. I wear it most of the time and I get tired sometimes but let it slip, just for a moment, and someone will always be there to correct you.

Society delights in masks, but Poetry delights only in removing them. Another reason to love her.

I have to thank _ananda_ for introducing me to the wonder that is Gackt. :) He makes such beautiful music, it's very soothing and it seems very true to me. This song in particular is that fusion of sadness and happiness, sorrow and joy, that I find irresistable.

EDITED to add: Btw the name of the song is "Shima Uta" -- I believe if I'm reading right that it's an old traditional Chinese folk song which Gackt is covering. :)

Just one of those things, I suppose.

This was my favorite book in high school. --->

A Separate Peace, by John Knowles

-------------------------------------------

The last words of Finny's usual night time monologue were,"I hope you're having a pretty good time here. I know I kind of dragged you away at the point of a gun, but after all you can't come to the shore with just anybody and you can't come by yourself, and at this teen-age period in life, the proper person is your best pal." He hesitated and then added, "which is what you are," and there was silence on his dune.

It was a courageous thing to say. Exposing a sincere emotion nakedly like that at the Devon School was the next thing to suicide. I should have told him then that he was my best friend also and rounded off what he had said. I started to; I nearly did. But something held me back. Perhaps I was stopped by that level of feeling, deeper than thought, which contains the truth."

"Break, break, break,
On thy cold grey stones, O Sea!
And I would that my tongue could utter
The thoughts that arise in me.

O, well for the fisherman's boy,
That he shouts with his sister at play!
O, well for the sailor lad,
That he sings in his boat on the bay!

And the stately ships go on
To their haven under the hill;
But O for the touch of a vanish'd hand,
And the sound of a voice that is still!

Break, break, break
At the foot of thy crags, O Sea!
But the tender grace of a day that is dead
Will never come back to me."

The ending line of this poem remains one of my favorite of all time.

I had a really good day today, in part because I had what I like to think of as a transcendent moment when I felt really like I was not merely juxtaposed against the universe, the outside observer, but very much connected with it, resonant with it. Now these moments can occur at any particular time, they do not follow reason, but they most often happen for me around books. My soul is just... bookish; with me, there's some sort of connection with words that I don't understand exactly, but it must exist. Otherwise, why these moments?
Or I could just be crazy.

But I like the other explanation better.

This is the poem that I read:

"Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy
and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your
laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your
tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your
being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very
cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your
spirit, the very wood that was hollowed
with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into
your heart and you shall find it is only that
which has given you sorrow that is giving
you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in
your heart, and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been
your delight."


It is from a book called 'The Prophet,' by Kahlil Gibran. I think I will end up liking it very much. :)

"A year ago
I began to notice
that my sight was slipping away.
I sat home alone
and felt the darkness settle around me."

Thus begins "The Sound of Colours," a brilliant book by author/artist Jimmy Liao. This guy is an incredibly artist, and I do not say this lightly. His art has the sort of magical whimsy that I adore. When I look at his work, it is like a story unto itself... each picture has so much to say.

The sad of this is that his webpage in English is under construction, and the only way to get any of the images is to get on the Taiwanese one and trust god to guide you... it's not working so well for me. ^^;
The happy of this is that his books, or at least TSoC, are available in Barnes and Nobles, so next time you're there you should give him a look, you won't regret it...

the inaugural entry. i suppose i am going to be structured about this and it needs to be so from the start or else this will degenerate into another of my discarded journals. so for myself formost, and for anyone else who, like me, takes pleasure in reading people's journals of whom they know nothing, i shall lay out the purpose of this journal.

-i will be posting poetry and art on here, for my own archives and just to make myself look at the art world more, instead of say perez. which i read* on a daily basis because i have no will power

-i will post little fannish bits of fluff and fun for i have been a lurker for far too long (this especially applies to ASOIAF, because if i do not get the jaime/brienne theory i have out of my head i will simply implode)

-i will try my hand writing avatar fic, specifically zutara and azula/sokka though knowing me it may very well end up being a pile of syrupy nonsense

-this will be my literary criticism/analysis outlet and my means for getting out my ideas re characterization and such in various books and sharing them with others. because i am a big giant nerd and analyzing the living hell out of everything i read gives me warm fuzzies. huzzah.

okay i think that about wraps it up.







*oh the shame X(